Well, today was the first day I didn't have an exam. My next exam date is Wednesday, January 28th. So I do have a bit of time before then. Arghh; I don't know what to do with all this free time. I mean sure, I have ideas (clean room, read, exercise, watch t.v.) but it's so boring. I don't want to be even more bored than I was before. I've never actually spent this much time on the computer before...Wayy too scary. Anyways, I'm sort of getting anxious about university. I really want to go to Western but someone said it's a party school and I am not a partier. I don't go to parties; I don't drink and I definitely do not smoke. I like quietness. Everything I heard about university:
1) You never sleep
2) You have tons of homework
3) You can't afford ANYTHING
4) You live in a tiny cramped dorm room
5) There's parties every single night
I hate ALL OF THOSE THINGS. Arughuhg; I really hope it's not anything like what I've heard.
Love,
allie
xoxo
1/21/09
Well exam season officially started. I had my English exam today and it was pretty tough. The questions and essay itself weren't hard. The hardest part was finishing it on time and being alert at 8 in the morning!! Tomorrow I have a music exam which I barely studied for. I can't muster up the strength to study; I'm too..blah today. Anyways,
I'll write more later.
Love,
allie
xoxo
I'll write more later.
Love,
allie
xoxo
1/20/09
:)
Hey,
I am in a much better mood, thankfully. I don't think I can stay upset for that long anyways. I've decided to suck it up and continue with those lessons. I'd be letting my parents and myself down and I don't want to do that. Anyways, on a happier note, tommorow is my english exam and after that, I have a music exam (which I need to study for..) and a philsophy exam in a week and that's it! i don't ever have to see millloser ever again. (Ooh, intersting random thought. Religion is like music. Everyone likes/believes a different thing. WE don't have wars on what type of music we like, so why do we have wars on what our beliefs are?) I'm so excited for second semester. JAH JAH. :) i'm glad i'm back to normal. this feels more like the real me. anyways, here's a list me and Julia made a long time of our perfect man. it's safe to say henry fits a lot of these characteristics lol.
1) Strong
2) Defined Jaw
3) Taller than you
4) Honest (but lies when to make you feel good :D)
5) Sense of Humor
6) Romantic (IMPORTANT ;P)
7) Smart
8) Not Jelous (to a certain extent)
9) Talented at Something
10) Caring
11) Nice Eyes (VERY IMPORTANT!)
12) Responsible
13) Smile To Die For (oh yes)
14) Loyal
15) Good Kisser (ABSOLUTE MOST)
16) Great Laugh
17) Good Dancer
18) Appropriate Dirty (;P)
19) Protects You
20) Not Self-Absorbed
21) Loves you for who you are
22) Thinks You're Beautiful
23) Stallion In The Sack (LMFAO ALONA)
24) Kind And Sweet (Same Thing?)
25) Self- Control (Doesn't Pick Fights)
26) Friendly
27) Patient
28) Nice With Your Parents
29) Steady Job (Good Job!)
30) Family Oriented
31) Not a One-Night-Stand-Guy
32) Great With Kids
33) No Bad Addictions
34) Laid Back
35) Down-To-Earth
36) Hygenic (A Definite Plus)
37) Self Sufficient (Doesn't Rely on You Do Do Everything)
38) Loves To Cuddle
39) Can Make You Happy Whenever
40) Sexy (DAMN STRAIGHT!)
41) Luscious Lips (♥)
42) Not A Hairy Beast
43) No Back Hair/ Some Chest Hair
44) No Long Beard (!)
45) Can Cook
46) Hot Name :D
47) Has A Good Wardrobe (and knows when to wear what)
48) Can Be Forceful, But Knows That No Means No!
I am in a much better mood, thankfully. I don't think I can stay upset for that long anyways. I've decided to suck it up and continue with those lessons. I'd be letting my parents and myself down and I don't want to do that. Anyways, on a happier note, tommorow is my english exam and after that, I have a music exam (which I need to study for..) and a philsophy exam in a week and that's it! i don't ever have to see millloser ever again. (Ooh, intersting random thought. Religion is like music. Everyone likes/believes a different thing. WE don't have wars on what type of music we like, so why do we have wars on what our beliefs are?) I'm so excited for second semester. JAH JAH. :) i'm glad i'm back to normal. this feels more like the real me. anyways, here's a list me and Julia made a long time of our perfect man. it's safe to say henry fits a lot of these characteristics lol.
1) Strong
2) Defined Jaw
3) Taller than you
4) Honest (but lies when to make you feel good :D)
5) Sense of Humor
6) Romantic (IMPORTANT ;P)
7) Smart
8) Not Jelous (to a certain extent)
9) Talented at Something
10) Caring
11) Nice Eyes (VERY IMPORTANT!)
12) Responsible
13) Smile To Die For (oh yes)
14) Loyal
15) Good Kisser (ABSOLUTE MOST)
16) Great Laugh
17) Good Dancer
18) Appropriate Dirty (;P)
19) Protects You
20) Not Self-Absorbed
21) Loves you for who you are
22) Thinks You're Beautiful
23) Stallion In The Sack (LMFAO ALONA)
24) Kind And Sweet (Same Thing?)
25) Self- Control (Doesn't Pick Fights)
26) Friendly
27) Patient
28) Nice With Your Parents
29) Steady Job (Good Job!)
30) Family Oriented
31) Not a One-Night-Stand-Guy
32) Great With Kids
33) No Bad Addictions
34) Laid Back
35) Down-To-Earth
36) Hygenic (A Definite Plus)
37) Self Sufficient (Doesn't Rely on You Do Do Everything)
38) Loves To Cuddle
39) Can Make You Happy Whenever
40) Sexy (DAMN STRAIGHT!)
41) Luscious Lips (♥)
42) Not A Hairy Beast
43) No Back Hair/ Some Chest Hair
44) No Long Beard (!)
45) Can Cook
46) Hot Name :D
47) Has A Good Wardrobe (and knows when to wear what)
48) Can Be Forceful, But Knows That No Means No!
1/18/09
Ughhghh. I don't think I've been this disappointed in years. Today I was suppose to have a tennis lesson and over the past month, more and more, I've been hating the tennis coach and the girl I have the lesson and today; I just couldn't take it anymore. I was dreading the lesson all day long and that's not the way you are suppose to feel about an extra curricular activity. You should enjoy your free time and I don't want wasted money to occur because I go there. I don't want to go. My mom called them and said I'm not going but it's only for today and I can't stand them. ugh fricking coach+ girl.. they are so fucking pretentious. i hate them and i hate people like them. it's 35 dollars to waste to spend 45 minutes watching them joke around and ignore me and 15 minutes of running around being completely out of breath, feeling like I'm going to pass out. it's not wroth it and the worst this is how bad my parents made me feel for not going. i'm not quitting. i want to continue with tennis but I don't want to feel so horrible about this school and it's not like they are fucking made out of gold or something; i shouldn't be made to feel so guilty for quitting this particular school. ugh. i hate when people call me a quitter. i'm not a quitter. A quitter gives up when times are hard; I don't. I quit when it's not something I enjoy. I don't believe yoou should waste your time doing things you hate unless they are absolutely neccesary and to me, going to an expensive tennis lesson where I don't learn anything is unneccesary ; rather than going to a differnet tennis lesson where I actually learn and enjoy my time. That's the difference between going to school in your pajamas where your fucking cold and going to school dressed in a parka, where you areee nice and warm. What i mean is, I'm still going to play tennis, just in a different area but no; my parents make me feel like I just shot someone or something. I just want to switch schools but no..they have to bring up how like 8 years ago, I quit jazz dance lessons and now i quit dance again because the school I went to was easy and a different school i tried said i'm too fat and old to go.how the fuck does a rational person not leave places like that. I didn't want to quit all those places but I just hate suffering and i mean, who doesn't. I had to go through elementary school suffering every single fucking day and I don't want to take anymore. I don't want to go through it anymore. I just stay away from feeling bad and why shouldn't i. it's hard enough being a teenager, let alone, having additional things like me. I don't only havet he basic worry of getting out of high school alive, but I need all this extra added stuff because I want to be a doctor and I don't even know anymore. I don't know if i can even do it. I hate this. I just wish it was so much easier but it never will be and the more I try to suck it up and keep going, the faster I keep breaking down and each time it's worse and worse. I am just so sick of everyone around me. I don't want to be made to feel guilty for wanting to change something that I dislike. Julia once had a quote on her msn, that if you don't like something, change it and if you can't change it, change how you feel about it. well I can change the location and coach of my tennis lessons so why the fuck should i be made to feel like a really bad person for it.
I don't want to be the emotional one who rants about antyhing and everything but truly; I just don't want to cry anymore.
I don't want to be the emotional one who rants about antyhing and everything but truly; I just don't want to cry anymore.
1/14/09
1/9/09
Just a random update.
Hey,
School's back! It's a bittersweet feeling, to know that I can no longer wake up at 3PM and waste my time shopping or watching movies. I feel happy to get back to a schedule and to finally be able to ask all the questions I had built up over the break. I had two assignments to work on (Philosophy Project and English speech) and I had so many questions and it felt so unsatisfying to suppress them for so long. Now that I've asked my questions, I want second semester to start!! This semester I've had Careers, and now my schedule was (for the past 3 months) Philosophy, Civics, Music, English. Next semester I have Singing, Math, French, Science. Before I can pass onto better things; I must have the dreaded exams. Uerhueghheaogh, as if you couldn't tell, I'm not looking forward to them. I AM looking forward though, to my extra 4 days of rest.
Speaking of things to look forward to, I am so excited for mine and Julia's cruise this March break!! Just thinking about it makes me get that butterfly exciting feeling. Obviously I will make a post about it but unlike last time, I will actually periodically write down what's happening during the cruise since when I was writing what happened last time, it was all from memory and I'm sure that I had forgotten a few important things...like how our ship turned around because they thought they saw people swimming in the ocean after being thrown overboard.They didn't, but the point is that I had forgotten to even mention it.
Anyways, there's a really cute bloke at school. I don't know his name (but do I ever know my crushes' names??). He has the most amazing blue eyes. I'm bored until March Break so I'm going to try to at least catch his attention or do something at least. Life is so worthless without interesting events.
I can't wait until I'm finished school and I have my own adult life where I don't have to beg my parents for 2 weeks just to go out and buy me some yoghurt or popcorn or some minute mundane object. When I have my own house, I want 2 more animals, well three actually but I don't really count fish. I want a Scottish Fold cat (all the more to add to my scottish/british obsession!!) and a German Shepherd dog. I think they are both so cute! I love animals, but unlike my friend Biata, I do NOT love them more than humans. How can you?? Humans are so interesting; so complex. Animals are smart too but they are 2 Dimensional while human minds are infinite.
So that's it for my random update.
I'll write more later.
Love,
allie
xoxo
School's back! It's a bittersweet feeling, to know that I can no longer wake up at 3PM and waste my time shopping or watching movies. I feel happy to get back to a schedule and to finally be able to ask all the questions I had built up over the break. I had two assignments to work on (Philosophy Project and English speech) and I had so many questions and it felt so unsatisfying to suppress them for so long. Now that I've asked my questions, I want second semester to start!! This semester I've had Careers, and now my schedule was (for the past 3 months) Philosophy, Civics, Music, English. Next semester I have Singing, Math, French, Science. Before I can pass onto better things; I must have the dreaded exams. Uerhueghheaogh, as if you couldn't tell, I'm not looking forward to them. I AM looking forward though, to my extra 4 days of rest.
Speaking of things to look forward to, I am so excited for mine and Julia's cruise this March break!! Just thinking about it makes me get that butterfly exciting feeling. Obviously I will make a post about it but unlike last time, I will actually periodically write down what's happening during the cruise since when I was writing what happened last time, it was all from memory and I'm sure that I had forgotten a few important things...like how our ship turned around because they thought they saw people swimming in the ocean after being thrown overboard.They didn't, but the point is that I had forgotten to even mention it.
Anyways, there's a really cute bloke at school. I don't know his name (but do I ever know my crushes' names??). He has the most amazing blue eyes. I'm bored until March Break so I'm going to try to at least catch his attention or do something at least. Life is so worthless without interesting events.
I can't wait until I'm finished school and I have my own adult life where I don't have to beg my parents for 2 weeks just to go out and buy me some yoghurt or popcorn or some minute mundane object. When I have my own house, I want 2 more animals, well three actually but I don't really count fish. I want a Scottish Fold cat (all the more to add to my scottish/british obsession!!) and a German Shepherd dog. I think they are both so cute! I love animals, but unlike my friend Biata, I do NOT love them more than humans. How can you?? Humans are so interesting; so complex. Animals are smart too but they are 2 Dimensional while human minds are infinite.
So that's it for my random update.
I'll write more later.
Love,
allie
xoxo
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